Normalacy

Its been a while since I posted, no real reason, just getting on with life, trying to act like a normal citizen, go to work, earn money, come home enjoy my dogs, husband, drink some wine with a bit of exercise thrown in for good measure. Pretty normal stuff.

At one stage I was certain my RE was ignoring me, didnt get any replies from him which is unusual. I heard he has been away and I guess seeing that this next cycle will be my 6th fresh with him I guess he has just decided that the newer patients need more attention. I do feel a bit unloved.

Welcome to those visiting from ICLW. Im basically in the waiting phase, waiting to start my 2nd DE cycle and 6th fresh IVF. Its been fun and games since we started ttc, you can read more at the “About” tab.

All-in-all Im feeling OK, a bit hopeful, a bit nervous, a bit negative and a bit positive. As my therapist said to me you cant possibly go into your 6th cycle with a big smile and a ton of positivity, if I did she would think I WAS abnormal. That made me feel better coz I dont want to put on a brave face if I dont have to.

A few minor updates

Ive never done an FET (or DE IVF for that matter) so I feel a bit strange being in the middle of a cycle and yet nothing is happening. No scans yet, no news about my donor, no follie counting, nothing. Its very weird. Ive decided not to ask if my donor has started stims although by this stage Im sure that she has. My DE co-ordinator said that she will only give me any news on Day 8 of stims so that should be by next week sometime. I will take the news as it comes.

Tomorrow I am going in for my Intralipid drip which should be fun. So its an early start for me – 4:30am so I can be at my clinic by 7am AND its so cold in the mornings now. So think of me tomorrow!

A small update on my sister’s dog – shes doing really well considering she has two enormous casts on both her legs. The op went well and the surgeon seemed happy with the way things went. Now the 8 week wait to get the casts off…. (Shame).

Lots of news

So we had a divine, divine holiday away! We stayed at this beautiful place right on the Vaal River, although it was pretty chilly!! On friday night I was treated to oxtail with a couple glasses of red wine – YUM YUM, then on Saturday my gorgeous husband organised a spa day! We had a sauna session, a complete body massage, foot massage and facial with champagne lunch. It was really special. My hubby knows what I like and I felt really spoilt!

BUT before I went into the sauna room I saw a familiar friend was knocking – AF. I was a bit panicked because I obviously didnt have anything with me but I worried for no reason as she only arrived in full force on Saturday night (a bit of a downer for a romantic holiday) but I was kind of glad she finally made her entrance. So of course it was a flurry of sending sms’s to try and get an appointment to see my co-ordinator today (day 2). I kind of wished that Af had come at a slightly better time but as I have learnt there is no real “good” time for her arrival anyways.

SO today was spent at my clinic going through the hundreds of consent forms, scans, bloods, explanations, COST sheet (I cant actually mention the cost because it makes me feel sick, needlass to say DE IVF is about DOUBLE normal IVF).

One thing picked up on scan is that I have a corpus luteum cyst (never had one before) which means that I will have to scan again in 2 weeks to see if its gone, cant ever be easy can it now? But I suspect that a few days on the pill will solve the problem.

So we are getting there… Just hope when Im pregnant we can afford to eat with the cost of this cycle!

Confession time…

So I need to make a confession….

We have chosen a donor!! It was pretty tough but we finally settled on someone. I didnt want to say anything until all her tests had been done and she was given the go-ahead. So on Friday I heard that all the bloods have been done and pshyc session (to make sure that she really wants to do this). Apparently she has already started on the pill, now we just need my AF to arrive so I can start on the pill. Only problem being that AF was here on the 2nd May which means it may be a while until I see her again. If its taking too long we might look at Provera but hopefully she comes in the next few weeks. Which means that we are looking at a mid-July cycle, can you believe it?? I cant. I am terrified, scared, excited, nervous, anxious all rolled into one. Flip it, I dont know if I want the time to hurry up or slow down.

So there you have it, I confessed!!

Lots happening

I feel strange, like I want to blog about everything that is happening but at the same time, Im like, I dont know scared or nervous that people might judge me. I guess these feelings go with the territory of using DE. I almost feel like a “fake” if I blog that everything is hunky-dory and meanwhile it isnt.

DE is scary, Im scared, terrified. But how can we move forward if we dont jump in, take a risk. Would you do DE if it came to it? What is your limit on number of IVF treatments? I used to think I could go forever and I could if it wasnt for the money. If I had an endless supply of cash then I would probably go at least a few more time until turing to DE but we dont have endless money and what if I try a few more times and then we still end up with DE?

Our minds are made up but I would like to know your views, your thought on DE, whether you would try it or rather turn to adoption or a child-free life??