Apparently I dont have PCOS…

So I met my new doctor today and wow! Our appointment was at 10am but we were only taken around 10:45am but I can see why. The doctor really took his time with us and we discussed all our previous cycles in great depth, he asked a lot of questions and we discussed everything from testing the spindles of the eggs to PGD, PICSI, apoptosis (DNA testing), alternative therapies, protocols, drug combinations, environmental factors, blood tests you name it. What I liked about him is the fact that he spoke to us in “doctor” talk and not “baby” talk. He could see we have been around the block. He also made me fill out a questionnaire about my mental state and mentioned that maybe I should look into seeing a counsellor. I like the whole rounded approach to our treatment.

I did a scan and would you actually believe it – I DON’T HAVE PCOS!!! He says that he has no idea why I was ever diagnosed with PCOS in the first place but I remember my previous doctor showing me the cysts and everything. Well now there are none. He wants me to stop my Glu.cophage as he says I don’t need it. I always wondered why I had the PCOS diagnosis when all my blood tests came back normal and I don’t have a single PCOS symptom other than irregular cycles. I just assumed I actually had PCO (without the “S”) meaning that I just have the cysts. I asked him about my irregular cycles and he said its possible that I just have a hormonal imbalance. Anyway I have no idea…

The Plan is to have a sperm analysis with the DNA apoptosis test to determine what percentage have DNA issues. Then we will use PICSI to weed out the genetically good ones and use those to ICSI an egg. I told him about my hard outer shells and he said that they will do pre-ICSI laser assisted hatching, if needs be. He also said that often the “bad” looking sperm could actually be genetically ok and that is why going my sight alone is not advisable, especially with 6 failed cycles behind us. He suspects that we have a DNA issue.

My protocol will again be the long protocol using Lu.crin from Day 21 of the BCP cycle. We discussed Cet.rotide as all my cycles using Cet.rotide gave me the worst fert rates and embryo quality, this includes my first cycle with no fert. He says he doesn’t like Cet.rotide but does use it with some patients but with my history we will stick to Lu.crin, which made me feel very happy.

Next we will start with a high dose of Fost.imon, a pure FSH drug imported from Switzerland. Ill be on 5 amps a day to start, which is great as Ive always felt we could go a bit higher and Ive never really had OHSS except for the normal bloaty feeling after retrieval. Then I will have a steroid during this time to prevent egg antibodies from forming. Never even knew this existed? Then at retrieval we will see how many eggs we get and quality embies and then perhaps do PGD (not yet convinced about this yet??). He also mentioned taking the mitochondria out of one egg and inserting it into a second egg because apparently if your eggs do not have enough energy (energy produced by mitochondria) then it will stop growing and fragment, as my embies do. At this stage I was as happy as a pig in shit because FINALLY someone was giving us options other than donor sperm or donor egg. I told him that he has full permission to try absolutely anything and everything on us. I want the FULL MONTY here. We even discussed hypnotherapy and acupuncture. Ill be doing both.

I realise that yes, the lab has never worked with our gametes before, the doctor has never seen how I stim etc etc but these are some cutting edge procedures that were never offered to me at my previous clinic. I feel like they had “one size fits all” cookie cutter approach and unfortunately I aint no cookie that needs cutting.

The doctor warned that we “have a mountain to climb” which I am fully aware of but at least I have a bit more hope again, a way forward. I did R2000 worth of MORE blood tests, so now Im sure that Ive done almost every single blood test ever invented.  So we are set to start with BCP in March, until then I will stay healthy, eat all the good foods and prepare for the baby that will be arriving soon. I can feel it in my bones.

Why I hate PCOS

I think I realised why I was so down last week. Lack of AF was seriously getting to me. Its one thing to be infertile but a completely other thing for your body to be broken. I had to take a course of Provera to bring on AF which I dont often need to do, normally my cycle ranges from 35-40 days, sometimes 42 but never really longer than that and I am able to get Af by myself. It seems that taking the Luc.rin depot for my DE cycle made my cycle go wonky. Does anyone know if this is the cause?

So after a long 53 days, I freaking finally got my AF this morning. It just means one little step forward and instantly made me feel better. Yes, I realise the irony of wanting AF to come and then wanting it to stay away. It appears that my depression was linked to my broken body.

PCOS just plainly sux.

ICLW’ers

Hi all ICLW’ers,

If this is your first visit to my blog then Im sorry that you had to read the disgusting news about my uncle who was murdered in his own home. I guess thats what you get living in South Africa, its so unbelievably sad that our beautiful country is ruled by these mindless souls.

A bit of my story, pretty boring really – been trying for over 3 years now. 3 IUI’s, 4 IVF’s, 1 m/c at 8 weeks. Bottom line we have PCOS and poor sperm to deal with. My eggs are apparently pretty crap, our fert report is never really good eventhough I always have plenty of eggs. Next step – donor eggs. Unfortunately we cant keep on wasting money on my own eggs if they really are as bad as what Im told they are. Here in SA there is no medical insurance AT ALL for infertility, which basically means we have to move on now.

I turn 30 on the 3oth April this year, which is not helping my depression levels, including the death of my dear uncle. I feel like crawling into a hole and staying there until Im ready to come out.

Friday Ramblings…

I would like to share with you that I am an avid rugby fan. Truely I am. I LOVE rugby. I plan my Saturdays around watching it and with the Currie Cup on at the moment I watch ALOT of rugby. Im a SHARKS fan, I grew up in Durban so I have always loves the SHARKS. When we were in Durban a few weekends ago we went to go watch the SHARKS beat the crap out of the Cheetahs and it was so great. Sitting screaming your lungs out at a few men on a field does wonders for the soul. SO this weekend I will be glued to the screen to see who gets into the semi-finals!! 

 

 

 

 

On other news – I actually think i might be ovulating. Now for those of us with PCOS we know that this is indeed a very rare occurance. I had a small amount of EWCM again any change in CM for me normally signals something is up. Ive been taking zinc and Udo Oil which is an Omega oil (disgusting to say the least) but I think it may have helped a bit with CM. Seeing I am already on CD twenty-something I would just like to know when/if I do ovulate so I know when AF might arrive. Not really for ttc purposes (are you guys really going to believe that? You know that t-e-e-n-n-y-w-e-e-n-y chance that we might be able to do this by oursleves still exists). Anyway I decided to do an OPK (I have left overs from the pre-IVF days) and guess what the 2 darkest lines ever (pity it wasnt a HPT)! So eventhough its like a whole month late, I am at least able to ovulate by myself. So then because of that t-e-e-n-n-y-w-e-e-n-y chance I decided to try my skills at tempting my hubby. Seeing he is recovering from an op to that very specific area it made things a bit tricky and I didnt want to tell him about the Big O (no not orgasm – ovulation) because we “arent ttc” anymore. Anyway I managed and so did he.