Lots happening

I feel strange, like I want to blog about everything that is happening but at the same time, Im like, I dont know scared or nervous that people might judge me. I guess these feelings go with the territory of using DE. I almost feel like a “fake” if I blog that everything is hunky-dory and meanwhile it isnt.

DE is scary, Im scared, terrified. But how can we move forward if we dont jump in, take a risk. Would you do DE if it came to it? What is your limit on number of IVF treatments? I used to think I could go forever and I could if it wasnt for the money. If I had an endless supply of cash then I would probably go at least a few more time until turing to DE but we dont have endless money and what if I try a few more times and then we still end up with DE?

Our minds are made up but I would like to know your views, your thought on DE, whether you would try it or rather turn to adoption or a child-free life??


7 comments so far

  1. Shaz on

    Hey Dee
    I’d do it, yes its a huge decision with a lot of far reach implications, but still the possibility of a child that would be at least half genetically ours, I’d do it for.
    I don’t think any of us can set a limit on how many IVF’s we’d do, I think that varies from person to person and also how long you’ve been trying for. I’m in my 8th year of trying and to be honest, I’m getting tired and although I thought I’d go forever, I have started seriously considering stopping.
    All the best!

  2. Leigh from 123 blog on

    I think it depends on the couple BUT I said to my husband originally 3 IVFs (thinking they were R33000 and that would take us to R100 000 – ours ended up being R40 000 a pop because of the ICSI) but I know I would have gone on and on….because I kept feeling like we’re getting so close.

    And yes, I would use donor eggs especially if the doc suggested it. You know how I feel about VL – OUTSTANDING – so I trust them implicitly which is why when I said to Dr G, “what’s the quickest way of us getting pregnant?” and he said, “IVF” I said, “okay, let’s do it” – no faffing around, no BS, just let’s get you pregnant. And here we are.

    So a resounding YES!

  3. Cedge on

    To be honest I don’t think I am ready for DE or adoption yet. I have to do all I can before I will even consider them.

    The beauty of using DE is that if successful you get to experience the joy of being pregnant and giving birth. Surrogacy and adoption will never bring you that close to that experience of actually carrying that baby inside you.

    then again … does it matter? When we eventually hold our babies in our arms … will it really matter how we got them and what we had to do to get them? I always wonder about that.

  4. celia on

    DE’s are not for me. I don’t want to be pregnant,I want a baby. The reason we are at the RE’s is because our insurance would pay right away for IF but we had to wait forever for adoption coverage to kick in. I mean sure, I would love a baby that is genetically linked but if it can’t be from both of us I would rather adopt.

    If we are not pregnant in another five months we are going to adoption. My sister and sister in law both volunteered to surrogate for us, but I could not handle it. While I would love keeping control of my babies environment and knowing they got good pre-natal care I just could not stand the jealousy I would feel watching someone else pregnant with our baby. Which is maybe wrong, but there it is.

  5. strongblonde on

    b and i have talked a lot about this and could never come up with one final answer. i think i would do DE. in my country everything has a stigma: ivf, DE, IF, etc. everything. i guess once you go over into the land of stigma, who cares, right? i don’t care what people think. i want a baby and will do what it takes to get there. to me, DE is the step before adoption….but to others they might skip this step totally and move on to other things.

    i know this is a tough time. if you need to talk, just email 🙂

  6. KH on

    I’d adopt frozen embryos before I’d do DE. NOt sure where you are in the world, but in the USA it is gaining popularity to “adopt” frozen embryos that others have not been able to utilize for one reason or another. It’s a simple procedure and is a “property transfer” as far as the courts are concerned. Inexpensive, too.

  7. Boo on

    Hi Dee
    I need to talk to you. I really need your input re Dr V from Vitalab. Can you maybe sned me a PM on OPM (I see that you are also listed there as a user) with an e-mail address?

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