Assvice

Warning – this post will make you realise how stupid some people are.

Once you are pregnant its as if you automatically become other people’s property. Everyone wants a piece of you. Oh and the ADVICE it just flows out of people’s mouths.

“You should try insert whatever oh but wait it probably wont work as well for triplets coz insert reasonNot sure why it wouldn’t a triplet is still a baby.

“You are going to be SOOOO sleep deprived, you should hire a night nanny” Yes I will be doing that.

“Your babies are going to be in hospital” Yes I know that but hopefully not for too long.

“So how ARE you” Fine thanks since the last time you asked 2 hours ago.

“So do you feel them move” Yes I do but you asked this question yesterday and I am still feeling movement today.

“So Im guessing you wont possibly breastfeed” Well Im going to try my best. “Oh but don’t put so much pressure on yourself” I don’t plan to, I only plan to do my best

“You are going to look funny with a triplet pram” Im getting a twin and a single “Oh that’s clever”

“Triplets? You mean 3 babies at the same time?” No comment

“Are they twins” No they are triplets.

“I heard about a procedure where you transplant an ovary, is that what you did?” No.

“Every time I see you, you are eating” So? Whats it to you?

“How many weeks are you” 21 weeks “OMG you are HUGE”

“How many weeks are you” 21 weeks “OMG you are TINY”

*I will never understand people’s fascination with the size of my tummy. Each person I see makes a different comment. The one day I walked into a room and one woman said Im huge and the other said Im small. What I have figured out is that people base it on what size THEY were and more than likely people remember the size they were just before giving birth. Ive stopped even listening to what people say because it was freaking me out that I was “too small” and then “too big”. Whatever.

“Have you had to buy bigger clothes?” Um yes.

“Do you know what you are having?” Yes, 3 girls “I feel sorry for you”. I actually told this person that we are extremely grateful for what we have been given and they immediately apologised.

“Is your husband happy” Yes of course

“Are your family excited?” Yes of course

“Are you excited?” Yes of course

“Are you scared?” No “Why not?” Why should I be?

It goes on and on and on. What really gets me is that I never ever ever just walk up to someone pregnant or not and ask them something or give unsolicited advice. I just don’t do it so now that people are doing it to me, it leaves me baffled. It leaves me drained to have to answer the same questions, even by the same people day after day.

Today I had my performance appraisal discussion for the next financial year. My direct manager is a woman with 2 girls and our functional manager is also a woman with 2 boys. The meeting was an hour long and for 50+ minutes we (read:they) spoke about babies, routines, what to do and not do, what I must use/try/take/buy. I just sat there wondering how they couldn’t see what was wrong with the picture. They used an hour of company time to have a tea party and reminisce about when they had their children. I actually even said that it feels as if everyone just talks baby to me now which still didn’t give them a hint. I eventually stood up and excused myself because I felt like I was at a baby shower and not a corporate meeting. Its a bit exhausting.

Update on the names – the third name remains elusive. We have narrowed it down to about 5 names. Ill post when they are official.

I added a pic!

Advertisements

28 comments so far

  1. Lesley on

    How would you look funny even if you where getting a triplet pram?! What is funny about pushing your babies in a pram?

    I am sure the comments must be so much worse with the triplets but even with a singleton, it can be really irritating…

    My favourite (said to me every day for the last 3 months by the same work colleagues): “Your tummy just gets bigger everyday.” (yup, this happens in pregnancy, I’d be really worried if it got smaller.)

    From a really obese guy: “Are you sure there aren’t twins in there?!” (I so wanted to aks him how many babies were in his stomach.)

    It is really annoying as I hate being teased.

  2. Cathy Nel on

    Ah man people can be such pains in the butt. Curiosity is a real conversation killer….
    It comes with the territory I suppose. Like when you’ve been going out for a while the question is when you getting engaged, then married, then when you having babies…. it just never ends! Sorry you have to deal with all the stupid questions, draining for sure!

  3. skrambled on

    Ha ha! I had a good laugh at some of them. Especially “Are they twins?”

  4. celia on

    This will prepare for the comments once the babies are BORN. Because while you will hear that they are beautiful, precious, etc you will ALSO hear they are too small, one is too small the others are too BIG, why aren’t you blah blah blah if only you’d blah blah.

    I cannot tell you how many times I cried because someone said that my perfectly normal, single baby was too small and that I should have kept him inside me for longer. They blamed EVERYTHING on it. His not sleeping,his screaming, his acid reflux, his weight loss. All my fault because I should have stayed pregnant a little longer. My own husband said it at least three times and finally stopped when he saw how much it upset me.

    Just remind yourself if you can, that most of these people have their heart in the right place even if their foot is in their mouth.

  5. celia on

    Also, I don’t know if you have them where you are but Medela makes a handsfree breast pump that you can wear while you walk around and I would have gotten that if I had realized how precious my time would become. Also, if you like I will give you my recipe for breastfeeding support bars.

  6. ttcnot2easy on

    Don’t people think before they speak anymore? Feeble trollops!

  7. RJ on

    Ah, yes. I also got the “OMG you’re huge” when I was just 16 weeks. Now I often get the random – “you look like you’re due any day” comment, even though I have a whole 3 mos. left. I do my best to blow off the comments, but they can be pretty irritating. I try to focus on how happy I am to have this belly!

  8. Emily on

    Stupid people suck! Sorry you’ve had so many irritating comments. I agree- I never give advice to a pg woman unless it has been solicited, so I don’t understand the need in others to give unsolicited advice. 😦 Glad you are doing well and how exciting that you’ve almost figured out all the names!

  9. Sharon on

    Get used to it Dee! I’m afraid it doesn’t stop after your babies are born. I’m so sick and tired of unsolicited assvice most of which is so bloody obvious I tried it months ago already.
    Hang in there!

  10. Ceejay on

    A night nanny–that’s genius! I never even thought about the existence of such people, but I’m very, very happy for your sake that you’re getting one. And what the heck does an ovary transplant have to do with anything?

    I haven’t gotten too much advice yet, but my husband always reminds me that people feel really special and important–and honored–when you receive their advice. So I try to smile and be interested and then turn the conversation so it’s more about their experience than mine, since they obviously want to talk about themselves :).

  11. Marcia on

    Oh I have zero patience generally and definitely not now. I have my comments ready and I tell them

    WE actually feel very blessed.
    No, he’s actually a NORMAL size; she’s small though but the doctor says she’s PERFECT!
    Yes, they are hard work but they’re SO worth it.

    and then I say to the babies, “you are the most gorgeous babies EVER. I am SO LUCKY to have you” just to shut them up proper 🙂

  12. Marcia on

    P.S. If I ever give you advice, know that I don’t mean to imply you haven’t thought about it, because honestly, I’m trying to help. I know how I battled at the beginning and I wish more people had been honest with me 🙂

  13. SCY on

    Some ppl are just plain stupid. Simple as that. Altho they were good for a laugh 😉

    xxx

  14. Mash on

    That is so funny. Ovary transplants? Really?

  15. Cedge on

    Awesome pic!!

    Your blog is hilarious … remember I warned you that you are going to get it from all sides.

    I guess it is human nature to offer advice when it wasn’t even asked for. You gotta have some smart comebacks for the ignoramuses, or just learn to switch off when you see their mouths opening. Good luck with that.

  16. sienna on

    ignorance? stupidity? too bad, not all ppl on this earth were blessed with brains. i’m one of 3 girls, and i LOVED having 3 girls in the family. 3 girls is amazing (until they start dating, heehee) :o) ps – i wish you had told that person who commented that they felt sorry for you on having 3 girls that, you too, are incredibly disappointed. that you didn’t go through all these ivf’s for just girls. you should’ve at least gotten 1 boy out of it. afterall, isn’t that what ivf is for? to PICK AND CHOOSE the gender of your children?? *sarcasm*.

  17. Jodi on

    I know people were so annoying. Now having experienced this I never comment on a woman’s pregnancy try to avoid staring at her tummy and treating her like she is belly with legs. So how are you feeling? Just kidding!

  18. Jodi on

    I forgot to add this stellar comment I got from a woman who should have known better “OMG twins? Your body is going to be completely ruined.”

  19. zamom on

    I read on that Multiples and More website today and there were some questions answered by a triplet mommy (natural triplts, can you imagine the shock of that!!). Anyway, she had some advice for triplet moms-to-be which I thought was quite good. Can’t remember it all but what I can remember was that you will cope, trust your instincts and eventually all the triplet comments will end and you’ll start telling people they’re triplets(if you can believe that).Loving the tummy!!!

    • dee on

      Thanks zamom, I just read that article!

  20. Boo on

    I had one recently: When is the next one comming……. WTF…… I am still waiting for this one to be born and I am sure as hell not going to plan for the next one now

  21. Paulae on

    I have a 4 year old daughter and twin daughters (20 months) and I LOVE having 3 girls – but I have often gotten the “Shame you will have to ‘go’ again for a boy” comment – hell NO! 3 are enough especially considering the effort of getting them in the first place. I also LOVED freaking people out with my twin tummy – “How far are you?” “30 Weeks” “OMW you are huge!!” (here I could see the thoughts of ‘what has she got in there’ going around, and I would just enjoy the moment!) I must say the comments got far worse after the twins were born, apparently people think that they can comment on multiples to strangers on every aspect of their well-being, the parents’ well being and even their conception. The one I hate the most is ‘double trouble’, so I guess you will have ‘triple trouble’. Whatever!

    • dee on

      Hi Paulae, I get “oh you so big” then I say well its triplets and then they say “oh but then you are small”. Can never win.

  22. strongblonde on

    i think that people who are mildly dumb get especially dumb around pregnant people and exponentially dumb around people pregnant with multiples.

    btw: i STILL get asked all of the time if M and T are identical twins. uh…one has a penis!

    lol

    xx

  23. Esperanza on

    Hello, I’m a first time reader. I love your blog! I can’t believe you’re having triplets. That’s awesome. I can’t wait to follow your story to their birth. My daughter just turned three months old and I’ve been struggling with the direction of my blog since she was born (just as I struggled with it while pregnant). I hope you keep blogging through it all. Thanks for sharing!

    • dee on

      Welcome to my blog!

  24. Rebecca on

    Just came across your blog through Stress Free Infertility, it’s always nice to see success stories, helps to give me hope that things will work out for us someday. You look amazing & I’m sure you’re getting ear fulls of unsolicited advice from everyone, people are so clueless sometimes! I can’t believe some of the stuff they’ve said to you. Hope the rest of your pregnancy continues smoothly:)

  25. jonivdw on

    Oh Dee, there are soo many idiots out there, that instead of supporting you like they should end up giving you cr@p assvice and criticising you!

    Just know that we all know you’re going to be a great Mom!

    Enjoy your pregnancy and let me know if you need help bopping people on the head so that they can come right!!

    We get the same with Adam being adopted… everything he does or doesn’t do is blamed on Adoption even if it’s normal behaviour for a toddler and the questions we get asked I mean really!! Stupid Oxygen Thieves!!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: