Better

Im doing better since Monday. I need to believe that I did the best thing for our babies but at the time I was cursing my doctor for suggesting getting the stitch. The pain, severe cramping and bleeding made me think the worst. My pain has basically gone, bleeding gone and Im off the pain killers so that all makes me feel ALOT better.

We scan again on Wednesday next week so Im looking forward to seeing the babies again and hopefully we get to scan a bit longer this time round.

This morning I noticed that Im looking bigger than I have been, I will update with pics soon. People now notice and ask when Im due so I must be getting bigger. I dont mean to harp on this but in my mind bigger = babies are ok. My nausea has just about left, mornings are still a bit rough with gagging whilst I eat breakfast, put on deo, brush my teeth but Im not sitting with the all day nausea. I must say that I seem to have food adversions more than I had before. Leftovers gross me out. Im hungry but just cant think of anything nice to eat except for ice cream!

At times I feel guilty. There have been a few BFN’s from VETS lately and my heart aches for them. Its hard for me to comfort them because I know in those dark days following a negative the last thing I wanted was some pregnant woman trying to help me out. At times I stand infront of a mirror and I just cannot believe that the reflection is me. I remember oh so well the feeling of pure desperation and despair. There were days that I didnt think I could go on. Im so happy and grateful to be where I am now but dont ever think I have forgotten where I came from. To those that are in the darkness – I will pray that you find your way out soon.

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21 comments so far

  1. Sharon on

    Glad to hear you’re feeling better!
    We never forget where we’ve come from, I think once and infertile always an infertile and while having a baby as certainly eased my pain, I have not forgotten what it was like! Sometimes the memory of it is so painful that I have to turn away from it!

  2. celia on

    you are not harping dude, babies growing=bigger tummy. I used to look every time I went to the bathroom because it was proof there was finally a baby in there.

  3. jodi hansen on

    Enjoy it! I had twins after IF now I wish I could have spread it out with 2 pg. my dh doesn’t want anymore and as you well know infertiles don’t have accidental pg.

  4. Me on

    Revel in every moment of your pregnancy, while some Infertiles may not react well to your news or posts you will find that deep down, most will be extremely happy for you and your story will give them hope.

    Enjoy every moment.

    ICLW
    #41 http://themissruby.blogspot.com/

  5. Josey on

    Wow, I’m here from ICLW (#91) and it’s so fun to see success stories like yours! Sometimes I feel like it will never be me, but seeing other IFers who finally got their BFP gives me hope. πŸ™‚

  6. babybaker on

    here from ICLW and first of all, congrats on your triplets! πŸ™‚ glad you’re feeling better after your stitch. and don’t feel guilty about us and our stinking BFNs. we’ll all come over to the other side eventually (i hope)!

  7. Christy on

    Congrats on your triplets! Infertility tends to stick with you but try not to worry about other infertile people who react poorly. Infertility is a kind of grieving and everybody grieves differently and is in a different place in the journey.

  8. mash on

    You are an absolute angel, and you should not be looking back over your shoulder in guilt. Of course, you will never forget where you came from, but you totally deserve to love every moment of where you are now. It’s miracles like yours that keep the rest of us going!

  9. RJ on

    Seeing = believing. So glad you’re feeling physically and mentally better about the stitch. Thinking of you!

  10. Kirsten (Cape Girl) on

    Thanks for stopping by my blog. Triplets! Congratulations!! That’s great!! I’ll be following you from now on.

  11. bratty on

    Glad you are feeling better. I had to laugh at the food aversion…like my husband said..it is not a craving, it is just what I can handle at the time. I could only cope with Condensed milk tea…yumm..very sweet. It does get better.

    I started growing big time from 14/15 weeks. I popped out quickly…I can just imagine what it will be like with three…

  12. cat@juggling act on

    Hi girl, just found your blog today and congratulations! I pray that you will have a great and successful pregnancy. I am a mom of almost 3 year old twin boys, naturally conceived after a year of secondary infertility (if you want to read the story it is on our blog). I know that apart from the great joy of being pregnant your are probably also scared to be expecting multiples and all that goes with it (like prematurity, money issues etc) I have quite a few multiple moms on my sidebar (twins, triplets and quads) – go have a look if you want to contact some of them. You can also pop me a mail if I can be of any assistance. Welcome to the wonder world of multiples!

  13. MommyInWaiting on

    So glad to hear that you have recovered from the stitch. And I agree in my mind bigger would also mean – healthy babies. Can’t wait to hear about the scan next week.

  14. Sarah on

    Congrats on your little miracles!!

    Don’t feel guilt, your story can give those of us that are still going through it hope!!

    Happy ICLW
    #97

  15. christine on

    I hope your nausea in the morning is eased! Many congrats on your pregnancy, it sounds like it was hard won!

    ICLW #27

  16. Diana on

    Happy ICLW and congrats on the triplets!

  17. Invivo on

    Just popping by to say congratz. Got the news from SCY when she visited the other day. So excited for you! Feel a little sick to the stomack recalling those early days, the nausea, the exhaustion…nothing quite prepares you for it until you’re in it. Wishing you a long healthy pregnancy. You have a huge task ahead of you, be kind to yourself.

    KUP!

  18. peanuttam on

    So glad that you doing better my friend. Glad that the tum is growing and that your morning sickness is subsiding a bit.

    I can imagine what it must feel like, almost surreal to actually believe that you’re on “the other side” of IF, I believe we will all get there and it’s so important to cherish it all without forgetting where we came from.

    Lots of love to you sweetheart Xxx

  19. strongblonde on

    i’m glad that things are looking up….at least in the nausea department πŸ™‚ also, i remember associating getting bigger with growing babies, too. i love the pics that you are posting. i am still just so over the moon for you. your history with IF makes this experience so different from other women.

    xoxo

  20. ttcnot2easy on

    Good luck for tomorrow – can’t wait for the update.
    xxxxxxx

  21. Krissi on

    WOW! Triplets! That’s incredible news! I have a 3 year old and 10 month old b/g twins all born via IVF. I now blog to help others and I would love to feature your success story! Go to this link for the info: http://stressfreeinfertilityblog.com/2010/01/17/calling-all-success-stories/
    Thanks in advance! Good luck with this pregnancy!! Happy ICLW! (#45 & 46)


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