Now that the dust has settled – sort of, I can give you a recollection of what happened today. It has been one of the most surreal days of my life.

Yesterday (Monday) I started to crack. I was a mess, crying at almost everything, fighting with DH and generally what one might call an emotional disaster. We had been debating since the weekend how we were going to test. I couldnt decided whether I would POAS first and then beta or just straight beta. Ive been on both sides of that coin and neither are pleasant if its BFN. On the weekend I went to the shop to buy HPT’s and stood infront of them in a cold sweat, my heart pounding in my chest so I walked away and we decided to just do the beta (I am THAT petrified of HPT’s)

Then late yesterday afternoon I changed my mind and decided that waiting 1 minute for a HPT to develop was better than waiting 4 hours for a beta. Due to the last minute decision we were both anxious. Ive never seen my hubby like that before, heavy breathing, sweating and all we were doing were going to buy HPT’s! I felt like we were about to do a drug deal by the amount of anxiety we were displaying. If we had been around any of those armored money vehicles we would probably have been arrested!! 🙂

So we get the tests AND of course they scan in at the wrong price. I have a THING about this (I saved R6, less than a dollar but it was worth it). I got glares from hubby as he just wanted to get out of there but of course we had to get the supervisor over to come and get the price reduced and make a big thing out of it. Once we got to the car I asked him how the hell are we going to actually USE the tests in the morning if we acting like this just BUYING them. I was so tempted to use a test last night but I figured I wanted to use FMU.

We went to bed late (took today off work) and I woke up at 1am and didnt sleep much until 5am when I woke hubby up and said “this is it”. I peed in a cup and left hubby to do the rest. I was shaking ALL over and crying. We decided to leave the test to develop whilst we just hugged each other and promised that “Everything with be OK in the end and if its not OK its not the end” – my motto for the last month. Eventually after about 3 minutes I told him to look at tell me how many lines he saw. He stood for the freaking longest time and then turned around and said “I think there is 2” at which point I broke down completely. I cried and cried and cried. We phoned our families and both my mom and sister also broke down in tears.

We then went for the beta and I begged that they run the test as “urgent, urgent” and explained that its our 7th IVF. I think they took pity on us as we had the result by 10am, normally it takes the whole day. My clinic sister was so damn excited when we phoned, she was screaming and shouting on the other end of the phone. Its all just a bit surreal.

My protocol for those interested was the following: (I always check this on a blog when its BFP)
Lu.crin (20 units) from day 21 of BCP cycle, continue until trigger. Take at 6pm each day
Start corticosteroids from Day 2, 10mg each day.
375IU Fosti.mon from day 2 for 9 days, reduce to 2 amps on day 10.
Trigger with Ovi.drel 5000IU
Intra.lipid 20% infusion, 500ml on day of ET and then 1 week later 100mls.
Blood thinners from day after ER
Cyclo.gest 200mg 3 times a day
Protein shakes from Day 2 to ER
Supplements were Vit E, Vit C, Omegas, folic, 100mg Co.enzyme Q10 per day and eating carbs only until 3pm, none at night to prevent the insulin spike to give better quality eggs. I did this religiously for 4 months (since January).

My 2ww symptoms were not that many. One symptom was the return of my OHSS symptoms – heavy chest, bloating, huge aching ovaries, aching ribs etc at around 6dp3dt. I saw it as a positive sign but didnt want to think further than that. Then I have been having a feeling that I can only describe as I could feel blood flowing around my uterus. I was very aware of it. I also (TMI) had a number of involuntary orgasms in my sleep. Nice side effect but it has happened before in a cycle and it was BFN so I again didnt think much of it. My bo.obs have been relatively normal, last BFP they were extremely sore.

So, ja, we have been here before so I cant help but feel a small bit anxious but I promised myself long ago that should we ever get a + again I will TRY my utmost best to not let the past ruin this moment.

Thank you for all your wonderful comments, I started shaking and crying now when I read them again. I know ALL too well how difficult it is to open a blog up and see this news. Thank you for your support, it means so much to me.


20 comments so far

  1. Mash on

    I have tears in my eyes for you reading this! It’s such incredible news. Oh my goodness, you so deserve this.

  2. anya sizer on

    Just read your latest Blog and feel like crying for you too !!

    Congratulations to you both ..However PLEASE dont feel bad about feeling ” cautiously ” positive and happy . You have been through such a lot and you now have that hugely important next step ..the 2 lines but it is so so normal to feel every emotion under the sun right now …I know I did !

    Take it moment by moment and get ALL the support you need and deserve right now . My thoughts are with you

    love Anya

  3. Fran on

    My dear,

    ho can I tell you how happy I am t have this moment shared with you. I know your pregnancy will go well. I can feel it this is the time. Your beta screams at least twins and I can’t wait to read about your first scan. Me, on the other hand….started fearing this is another ectopic…I’m so hoping it’s only because of my past history and I’m so annoyed at myself for not being able to enjoy the moment. Much love, Fran

  4. Leigh from 123 blog on

    Big, big hugs to you, Sweetie! I can’t think of a better person for this to happen to.

    And now I’m tearing up AGAIN!

  5. jill on

    OMG! That HPT is just beautiful and that is a wonderful beta. I’m so very happy for you 🙂 Congratulations!

  6. Cedge on

    Thank you for sharing this special journey with us. 🙂 You deserve this joy … it is about time.

    I will definitely have that glass of wine for you tonite to celebrate.

    Enjoy this day, revel in the emotions. Thank you God!

  7. celia on

    Boo, I am SO EXCITED FOR YOU! I remember when they called me with my beta results and I said ” get the f*&k out of here!” you can take the girl out of New Jersey, but you can’t take the New Jersey out of the girl. Enjoy this time as much as you can.

  8. Eve on

    I am so happy for you and DH!
    Congrats again xxx

  9. Kim on

    Congratulations Dee and what a strong beta – maybe twins???

  10. strongblonde on

    omg! i’ve been out of the loop for awhile and check back in to find this! i’m so super excited for you!!! 😉


  11. lastchanceivf on

    Wow I just saw all the posts, the picture of the two lines, and the NUMBER! You are an inspiration–to never give up (although we have!) and I am thinking you have triplets in there!

  12. Bratty on

    Congratulations once again…Cannot wait for an update from your first scan….

  13. ttcnot2easy on

    I don’t have much more to say, except
    🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
    So very, very pleased for you! And what a strong beta too!

  14. Ab on

    I’m so happy for you Dee. Finally you have a happy ending and all the trying was worth it! Congrats again hun, enjoy every wonderful moment of your pregnancy! xxx

  15. skrambled on

    WOW! When I opened your blog yesterday I ONLY had happiness in my heart and a smile on my face. Congratulations!

  16. Cathy Nel on

    Wow you brought tears to my eyes! Tears of joy 🙂
    I’m so happy for your BFP and THIS IS IT! Enjoy your pregnancy and please KUP.
    You deserve it and you deserve to be happy 🙂
    Now go and BASK in your PREGNANTNESS 🙂

  17. ChrisN on

    Flip – I am crying right here at my desk! Such special amazing news. Enjoy every minute 🙂

  18. MommyInWaiting on

    You made me cry! At work! I couldn’t help myself when I read about how you and hubby did the POAS together and get got to give you the very best news ever. I am so pleased for you and sending lots of love and ‘grow baby’ thoughts your way.

  19. Marion on

    So I went for my scan this morning – 1 perfect little heartbeat btw, and what is the first thing Gerida said to me? Did you hear your friend is also pregnant? Meaning you off course, so we had a little celebration there for you… She is so chuffed she told everyone they have now 2 IL pregnancies! Just thought I’ll tell you…

  20. samcy on

    What an emotional crazy day Dee! But all in a good way of course 🙂

    Keep hanging onto that positive frame of mind. It’s all gonna be ok this time.


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