New Year, Same Thoughts

I have a thousand different things going on in my head. Ive been back from my holiday and back in civilisation (read: internet connection) since Saturday and have wanted to update my blog since then and every time I start a post I end up just stopping because what can I actually say? Not much. Maybe I should wish everyone a Happy New Year? But then how happy is it? 2009 sucked big time but then 2008 sucked even more.

Im glad the festive season is over, Im glad to be back home in the comfort of my own home, doing my own thing and not having to answer to my parents again (its really draining staying at ones parents house).

The holidays started with a bang. A big bang in the form of another cycle down the drain. I obviously hadn’t been drinking since I started cycling way back then so I hit the booze hard. It was great, well not really. Hangovers aren’t not that great. I’d rather have morning sickness but I digress… Christmas Day was spent with 20 family members and 1 baby. I had to watch as my parents held and played and filmed and photographed her. It hurt. A LOT. The tears were prickling behind my eyelids for most of the day. I have started on AD’s again and thank goodness I have because I swear it was that bad.  I used to love Christmas, it was one of my favourite times of the year but now its just another day to get through.  

We were invited to the baby christening which we declined to go to. I got some words from my mother for that. She told me “its not the baby’s fault” which got me huffy as who’s fault is it then? Certainly not mine.

New Years was a nightmare. Lets just say it turned messy and I hated bringing in the new year like that. Every year I wonder “is this going to be the year?” and this year I didn’t think anything, infact 2010 clicked in without much of a second thought. Needless to say the first 2 days of this year passed in a guilt trip of note. Finally I snapped myself out of it making myself believe that 2010 will be a better year, it has to be, please let it be.

This is my horoscope for 2010, it sounds better than I feel:

Year 2010 Overview

Taurus always gets tagged with things like “pleasure-seeking” and “materialistic.” That’s probably unfair, in most cases. You’re just as good at dishing out the pleasure as you are at seeking it, and who doesn’t like a few nice things around? Sadly, there’s been just too much struggle in your life the last couple of years when it comes to those two very important parts of your life. Thankfully, 2010 marks the end of that long uphill struggle. Your pleasurable pursuits have been a little more restricted than you’d like over the course of the last two years or so. That’s over with now, so … game on!

The big events this year will not so much be a matter of major happenings as they will be things that have been in the works and are slowly revealing themselves. In the last two years, you’ve put a lot of work into what makes you happy, while Saturn transited your solar Fifth House. Now that those pressures are finally being relieved, you’ll find you are finally gaining traction. Certainly, your love life and your career will feel the difference, but beyond that you’ll notice things going a lot better in other departments of your life. You may have already noticed some of these changes starting to kick in; the real results start happening around your birthday in 2010.

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6 comments so far

  1. Sharon on

    Really really hoping & praying that 2010 will be your year Dee!
    (((hugs)))

  2. skrambled on

    I am so hoping your year turns positive and much better that 08 or 09. And…..hello fellow taurean.

  3. cindyhoo2 on

    Yep, yep yep. Holidays are hard. babies everywhere, everyone happy, time confined with family. Honestly there is just so much pressure to be… cheerful. After another failed cycle and an uncertain future, I find cheerful to be in short supply. So yeah, 2010 is going to be better because that is the only moment we can live in now. Onward to better things for us all!!

  4. HopefullyTTC on

    hey Dee, I can so relate to the pain of watching your parents with someone else’s baby! Here’s hoping that 2010 brings you fulfillment.

  5. samcy on

    2010 is another year in our lives Dee, and I for one hope that this year brings you joy in ways you could never have imagined and that ALL your dreams are fulfilled.

    xxx

  6. Tam on

    I’m sorry that christmas was so hard, it was hard for me too. I’ve really started to hate that time of year, so many expectations that weren’t met *sigh*

    I do hope that this next year will be different for you, I hope that your life does a 180 and that everything will be as it should be for you.

    Chin up my friend Xxx


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