An Attitude of Gratitude

Thanksgiving was celebrated over in the US last week and it made me think about all the things that I am grateful for. Im grateful for my loving, understanding and caring husband, my 2 gorgeous Scotties that keep me sane, my wonderful sister who I would do anything for and my parents who are always there for me. Im also grateful that I am able to cycle again, especially so soon after my last cycle and Im ever so grateful that I have such an awesome donor and that she is able and willing to donate to me (I know she reads my blog so I just want to say thank you so much for doing this for us, I really, really mean it xxx)

I wanted to share a story that has really made me think. We have builders at our house at the moment and they got paid on Friday. Yesterday no-one arrived at our house to work. It’s a normal occurrence that the workers get so wasted on pay-day weekend that they are unable to work on Mondays. Isnt that just so incredibly sad? What a society we live in that its become normal practise that Monday’s are used as recovery days. Im so grateful that my life, apart from infertility has turned out pretty damn good. I don’t have to drink all my sorrows away and I certainly don’t drink to get wasted, that is so 2000 and late. (Thanks Black_ Eyed_Peas). A guy I went to primary school with found me on FB and asked me how life has treated me and I replied “pretty damn good”. I have a cushy job that allows me to take off when needed, it pays well, I have a nice house, car and lots of nice stuff. OK, I do realise that material stuff isnt everything but it is something and does make life easier. So all in all bar the baby situation, life is pretty damn good. Im writing this all down so I can read this on a down day.  Im trying out a gratitude attitude 🙂

Im also so grateful that its trigger time!!! YAY! My donor has quite a few nice big follies today and an E2 level of over 15 000!!!! WOW, what a machine! Retrieval is on Thursday, this cycle has just flown by! What has been so much better than last time is the fact that I get updates from my donor all the time. Last time I was literally on the edge of my seat right up til trigger to find out how many eggs we were looking at. That uncertainty makes the time go so slowly.

Ive been going for acupuncture and I don’t ever remember it being so relaxing. I used to go to a Chinese acupuncturist and although she was pretty accommodating, Im not sure I felt completely relaxed with her. This guy is even willing to meet up on Sunday, should ET be then (day 3) Im so jealous of the clinics in the US that actually have an acupuncturist there, that would be so much easier as I do believe that acupuncture, if anything just helps you to relax.

To be honest Im excited. Silly hey? You would think I wouldn’t be after all the cycles I have been through but its just so damn hard not to have your heart singing with hope. I know I should protect it more but how do you do that? The 2ww is right around the corner, it’s the most tortuous 2 weeks ever BUT in a way I get to pretend, imagine that I have something attaching, burrowing and growing inside of me. Since I don’t have a normal cycle, I don’t get to experience the 2ww very often (only during ART cycles and aren’t they a special kind of 2ww?) so in a way Im actually looking forward to It…..Im grateful that we are here again… Now isn’t that the craziest thing you have ever heard? Again, Im writing this down so when Im torturing myself next week, I can come back and read this.


9 comments so far

  1. Sharon on

    Its not silly to be excited. Its good! Its a sign of hope! It would be pointless without hope!!!

  2. Abs on

    I’m so glad it’s all going well Dee! KUP on the egg retrieval. I will keep you and your donor in my thoughts on Thursday for a whopper batch of eggies! xx

  3. samcy on

    hey Dee, I think having an attitude of grattitude for each step of the process is key to getting through it relatively sane. Think about it, no matter how you approach it (whether that be by embracing it with grattitude or protecting your heart) your level of hurt and disappointment will not change should it not work out. So why not go for it with everything you have, why not have hope and believe in the process?

    Thinking of you and your donor.


  4. skrambled on

    Hey Dee, that sounds really fantastic! I am hoping for good news. I think that we can’t help but get excited. I am already excited about my FET and I just can’t help it. Let yourself go! Sam is right the disappointment is the same whether you protect yourself or not.

  5. jill on

    I also agree – the disappointment (if it’s going to come) will be the same whether you protect yourself or not. Having hope and excitement is awesome! It’s one of the reasons I like blogging and commenting so much. Even if I can’t hope for myself I can sincerely hope and get excited for other people.

    Love the “Attitude of Gratitude”! It’s something we all should do more often, myself definitely included – be grateful and happy for the things we do have.

  6. strongblonde on

    hey dee 🙂 been thinking lots about you. i’m so glad that you have been able to know more about the cycle with this donor. seriously. i totally agree that knowledge does tend to decrease anxiety.

    and i felt the same way about my acupuncture. the first person i went to was chinese and i just always felt like whatever i was doing would never be enough. she kept pushing all kinds of herbs, wanted me to come nearly every day, and rushed in and out. the second lady i went to was so much better. i had to drive 45 minutes to get to her (which was kind of funny after the transfer. i made my sister drive me and i rode with the seat reclined the whole way and my feet up! lol). but it was so much different and i was happy, relaxed, and got a + with her.

    so excited for you this cycle. …and also thankful that i found you as a support during these trying times!!

    xoxo, a

  7. Melissa G on

    Dude. I heart acupuncture. I’m so glad you found someone who makes it a more enjoyable experience, and hopefully more beneficial.

    I think it’s fantastic that you are excited about this cycle. Hell, I’m excited FOR you! Please know I am crossing everything for you, you really do deserve this.


  8. ttcnot2easy on

    Not silly to get excited!! I do to – every time!! Don’t mind all the jabs anymore either! Although I’m on a 2-month break now, I’m excited about getting going again in 2010.

    Sometimes it’s good to list what you are thankful for – I do it often to remind myself that although my dream to be a mommy is not fulfilled (yet!!!!), there are still so many other aspects of my life for which I am eternally grateful.

    Good luck with this upcoming cycle!!


  9. Tam on

    I’m so happy to hear that you are in a good place my friend.

    I’m still here, cheering you on as always.

    Lots of love and hugs xxx

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