3 Back with Mommy

Each time I do this I realise how stressful the wait between ER and ET is. With my not-so hot eggs it was a tiny bit more difficult as I was always expecting a poor fert report. So with DE I thought I would get away with slightly less nerves – um why the hell did I ever think that? I misleadingly thought that having better quality eggs automatically means that the fert report is better but infact its not.

Yesterday was particularly bad. At my clinic you need to arrive around 8am to hear whether ET will be that day or not, which means you need to travel all the way to the clinic in a ball of nerves and then wait around whilst the docs scan the patients and then only do you get seen. Yesterday there were 4 patients ahead of me (incl one with hyperstim)which meant by the time I actually got to see my doc I was a ball of weeping woman. The stress and anxiety you go through waiting to hear is really really bad.

Dr V showed us the embies and I was just so damned relieved to see that we still had 4 ongoing, I just burst out crying but not in a nice way, like bawling, heaving, face distorted, tears running like a river crying. I cried for about 10 minutes whilst my husband and doc just stared. And you know Im glad I did for 2 reasons – 1. It was brimming on the surface for days and it was good to have a release and 2. I am always 100% in control, I HATE showing emotion. Even when we got the news of our m/c I was fine until we were alone. So in a way Im glad my doc saw this as Im sure sometimes he thinks Im aloof or have a heart of stone. Finally he could actually see for himself how hard this is.

Anyway we had 3 good looking embies (one GORGEOUS 8 cell), the last one was slightly fragmented (although nothing like I can produce). We actually compared the images of my 3rd cycle with these and you cant even compare. My DE cells were perfectly round and symmetrical whereas mine look like a splat with lots of fragmentation. Only thing I was slightly concerned about was the fact that the shells looked thick, if not thicker than mine. APPARENTLY at some conference in Amsterdam it was discussed that egg shells infact get thick due to the solvents/feed that the embies sit in during the 3 days they are outside the body. Apparently all embies in future are going to have assisted hatching at my clinic because they see that this has better results and by-passes the thicker shells.

So we transferred all 3 embies and now we wait…

An interesting thing is that Dr V told me that for a DE cycle they specifically dont stim the donors like they do the patients. Its a low and slow stim, aiming for between 8 – 12 good quality eggs. The object of the excerise is to get around 2-3 good quality embies and to get the patient pregnant on a fresh cycle, they think that freezing is just an additional nice-to-have if it happens but dont stim essentially to get any frozens – very unlike the USA where the donor is stimmed quite hard and you often get around 20+ eggs and tons of frozens. He said that stimming a donor hard may cause abnormalities in the eggs and of course you run the risk of your donor over-stimming which is not want they want. It just doesnt really help us coz without any frozens you need to try all over again, incl PAYING all over again. But anyways lets believe that I wont be trying again and that this is really IT!


14 comments so far

  1. Shaz on

    All the best for the 2ww Dee! For me, this will always remain the worst part of an IVF!! Hang in there!!!

  2. ROBZ on

    Thinking of you my dear friend!!!

  3. Cand on

    Sending you lots of love!! C

  4. Rach on

    Good luck!!

    I’ll be checking back hoping to read GOOD news!!


  5. Leigh from 123 blog on

    I know exactly what you mean – I also cried buckets waiting for those reports but look where I am.

    Am also hoping and praying that THIS IS IT!

    Good that you let it out – I’m like you, like to appear in control. When I went to have my stitches out, I’d been CRYING BUCKETS that morning and the receptionist and my doctor were all very sweet – pretending I didn’t have huge red-rimmed eyes and a big red nose 🙂 but at least they saw I don’t have it all together. Well, not all the time 🙂

  6. cindyhoo2 on

    Yay! You are officially pregnant until proven otherwise! Sounds like the embryo quality you got was quite good. I am expecting happy news from you within the next 2 weeks. Do you plan to hpt or will you hold out until your beta?

    As for the in-office breakdown, sounds like you were due for a good cleansing cry.

  7. Clare on

    Good luck in your 2ww! Hoping this is it for you!

  8. Melissa G on

    Much luck to you!!!! I am crossing everything that this does the trick for you. You really, REALLY deserve it.

    I hope you can rest a little easier now that your babies are back with you. Take good care of yourself.

  9. Tam on

    So glad the your little ones are all aboard and I truly pray that this is it for you sweetie.

    I’m sorry that this has all been so hard on you emotionally but I’m glad that you could get it out and have some release. A good cry always seems to help me!!

    Big hugs xxx

  10. samcy on

    Thinking of you and your embies Dee, here’s praying that you won’t need to consider another treatment ever again!


  11. Eileen on

    Good luck! I’ll keep everything crossed for you!

  12. skrambled on

    That sounds good.
    Thinking of you!

  13. Gail on

    Great news! YAY 🙂

  14. musicmakermomma on

    Best of luck in the 2ww – always hate this part! But it is lovely knowing that at least for the moment you are pg. Take care.

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