Appointment Feedback

So we saw Dr V on Friday. The meeting was difficult and we discussed a number of different options. Dr V feels that there is most probably an egg quality issue or even a genetic issue. Yes, I have PCOS but he showed me the stats of the woman with a similar problem to me (thick zona or shell of the egg) and 33% of them have fallen pregnant and 70% have gone on to have live births (2008). Which means that even though I have a thicker shell, it doesn’t mean it should hamper implantation. And I have had a pregnancy/implantation with one of my cycles. He wants to try Interlipids (not sure I have the correct spelling?) which will decrease any Natural killer cell activity. He also wants us to go for the HLA genetic screening test. He wants to cover all our bases. I am also going to see an endocrinologist at the end of March to see if he can shed any further light.


The most irritating thing is that Dr V says that I don’t have the “classic” PCOS profile. My bloods are normal – LH, FSH, AMH, insulin, Testosterone, I don’t have any outward symptoms of PCOS ie weight gain, acne etc, I am difficult to stimulate whereas PCOS patients normally stim easily. The only symptoms I have is the classic “string-of-pearls” on the scan and infertility (great hey?). Dr V actually cried with us, tears welled up in his eyes and he couldn’t speak. We have been with him for a long time now and for me to see him actually crying with us made me want to bawl my eyes out. He just doesn’t have the answers for us and the only thing is for us to now start looking at other options, change the gametes rather than the meds or protocol. Easier said than done.


So our options are as follows:


  1. Try again as before, own eggs and sperm. (Not recommended)
  2. Try again, own eggs with DS (Not an option for us, besides we suspect my eggs may be the issue)
  3. Try DE with Dh’s sperm (most preferred option right now)
  4. Try DE with Dh’s sperm AND DS (to rule out a sperm issue)
  5. Go straight to DE and DS


So the POA is to get all the blood tests done, save up, see my therapist to work through all of this and then we will make a decision towards the middle of this year.


I just feel that to keep on trying with my own eggs may be a futile exercise. DE is such a scary route to be thinking of. Im only 29 which makes the decision even more difficult.


My therapist told me such a beautiful story about Spiritual DNA. And how you will have the baby that you are meant to have and sometimes that egg may just come from someone else, it doesn’t mean I would love my child any less.


Right now we are not 100% certain about DE but my therapist (again) told me that there is no pressure. We shouldn’t pressurise ourselves and we must think DE through carefully and only when both of us are on the same page should we start looking into the process. It makes me feel a bit better, this is a HUGE decision and one that I don’t want to rush into (as I tend to do). So for now we wait some more, with an aching heart and an empty womb.  


7 comments so far

  1. Shaz on

    Hey Dee
    You have some huge decisons to make. Have u made your appointment for the HLA’s yet?
    I think Dr V’s reaction is wonderful and just goes to show why we all keep choosing them!
    Thinking of u!

  2. Leigh from 123 blog on

    Aaaawwwww, I love Dr V’s reaction. Personally I’ve always found him a little bit cold 🙂 but thorough.

    Take all the time you need – the counsellor is right, it is HUGE and you both have to know beyond a shadow of doubt that this is right for you

  3. Elize on

    What a sweet doc! Wishing you all the best with your decisions. Those aren’t easy discisions to make. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers, always.

  4. strongblonde on

    sounds like this is a great guy. the options will require thought, that is for sure, but it is nothing that you can’t handle. i totally agree that we will have the baby that we are meant to have. 🙂

    *hugs* xo

  5. samcy on

    I love Stephan! He really does care about his patients. And his reaction in the meeting proves it.

    *sigh* I wish this was an easy solutoin for you guys. I wish you could just have your baby and live happily ever after. I do think you will still get that happily ever after. DE is a big decision. I hope your therapist can help you sort through the “quicksand” so that you can make the best decision for you and DH and your future family.

    Best of luck with the bloods!

    You’re in my thoughts.


  6. Kristin on

    It sounds like you have a wonderful therapist (love the idea of spiritual dna) and an even more wonderful doctor. I wish you all the luck with whatever path you chose to travel.


  7. Callie on

    Thanks for sharing the idea of spiritual DNA…that’s a really powerful sentiment.

    It sounds as if you’re at a real crossroads of decision-making, and I wish you and your husband well during that process.


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