Strange Behaviour

So today, a lady I work with is celebrating her b-day. She is a good friend so I baked her a cake. When I gave it to her she told me this long story about how she has been praying and praying for something (didn’t elaborate too much, but I know it has to do with her ex) and that she asked God that she needed this “thing” to happen before her birthday or else she would loose all faith in Him. So apparently last night whatever it was she was praying about came true and she was bouncing around proclaiming that everyone must pray to get whatever they want. Then she tells me that I need to keep praying to have a baby and that she has also been praying for us and that my problem is that I don’t believe enough that its going to happen. This kind of took me by surprise and Ive been thinking about it ever since. Maybe Im not “believing” enough (2 years of hard core fertility treatments kind of takes your belief away) but what kind of “gets” me even more is the fact that whatever it is that she prayed about has now been resolved and on her b-day nogal (For non-South Africans is mean “aswell”, but it sounds better in Afrikaans) – which is exactly what she asked God for.


Not only this but she also told God that she would cut her hair if her prayers were answered so she is now at the hair dresser having her hair cut. THEN she tells me if I want a baby badly enough I must make a “pact” with God to also cut my hair when I fall pregnant. Please tell me is this normal behaviour? Im so frikken desperate that the thought actually crossed my mind that maybe I should make the pact with God.


Lets break it down –

  1. God is happy and willing to answer her prayers, so is my voice not heard?
  2. It happened on the day she wanted, why cant the same happen for me? Should I just pick a day and expect good news that day?
  3. Maybe my faith is not the greatest right now, but what do you expect? I feel like Im being kicked to the curb, left to fend for myself. Why did God put me on this earth if He didn’t intend for me to be a mother. I should have been a man then.
  4. Im ticked off at this.
  5. Im willing to cut my hair should I have a live, healthy baby. (Crazy, I know but Im putting it out there)

9 comments so far

  1. celia on

    People like that make me want to punch them. God is not a cafeteria lady handing things to some and not others. Because people who say “God gave me blah” never want to accept that the flip side of that logic is that God is withholding from you.

    People are very self centered.

    To say “God has granted my prayer” is to say God was refusing to grant your prayer before.

    And that is a fat load of crap. It is a very myopic way of looking at life.

    If you stand up all you can see is what is around you. If you stand on a chair, you see a little more. Now climb a hill, and then a mountain- look how the perspective changes. God is higher than everything, with the largest perspective of all. Who knows what other factors God has to consider. Maybe what she hoped for came to pass for a totally unrelated reason due to many other factors beyond her control or understanding. All those lives and outcomes and to think that God granted her prayer with the same ease as a gumball in your favorite flavor coming out of the machine is short sighted.

  2. Shaz on

    She’s cooked! Totally totally cooked! Its the same as some individuals that believe that they’re now pregnant while the rest of us still struggle because they did something in God’s eyes to deserve it.
    What a pile of sh*t!

  3. Leigh from 123 blog on

    She is seriously crazy.

    My feeling is the how is sometimes not like we expect but it will come, in time. I know, not what you want to hear.

    I wrote about Infertility and the Christian on my blog – look for the category in the sidebar to get the WHOLE thing 🙂

    By all means, cut your hair if you want but God is not into the bribery business 🙂

  4. Cedge on

    argh! if it was that simple, then we would have easily had a couple of kiddies by now. cutting one’s hair seems like a very minor trade-off compared to what u are getting in return.

    God does not bargain with us for anything. His answer to our prayers is Yes or No or Wait. Only He knows why.

    this woman seems to be an ignoramus and a simpleton.

  5. Elize on

    I think she is very ignorant and naive. Sure God probably did answer her prayer, but remember in life there are lots of prayers. We pray for different things and some get answered and some don’t. It’s a very difficult subject, God has a plan for you, but right now we do not know what it is. We can only believe that He has our best interests at heart, and that He knows exactly what He is doing. I know that Hannah promised to give God her son if only he would grant her prayer, and she did. But I believe that you will know in your heart without a shadow of doubt whether you were called to make such a promise or not. If you doubt don’t do it. Cutting hair?? Unless she was so attached to her hair that she thought she would die if it were ever cut. I don’t think God’s arm can be twisted with something so small or at all for that matter. The other point is, God also knew that Hannah would go through with her promise. I can’t say the same for myself, so I can’t make that promise. But even if I did make that promise then He knows what’s in my heart and my true intentions and He knows the future and He will see whether I will ever go through with what I promised.

    I say ignore her.

  6. strongblonde on

    Hi. I had a creepy interaction today and needed to change blogs (aka br.bits). Transitioning to a new site that I don’t want to publish on my blog:


  7. Beth on

    Put this on your list of “what not to say…” or “the stupid things people have said to me…”
    I am so sorry that she even put these thoughts in your head. If it was as easy as cutting ones hair I am sure there would be a bunch of bald women walking around, please show me the scripture verse for her comments!
    I know this is such a tough time, I think that this journey really does make you question God and what his plan is, just rest in the fact that He does have a plan, and It will be a good one but not always as we expected it to be. Just know you are being lifted up in prayer right now!

  8. Angela on


    I’d really like to tell you my story and offer you some encouragement but I’d prefer to send you a mail rather than put it on your blog for everyone to see. If you are interested, drop me an email. Very briefly I will say, I have PCOS, have had 2 miscarriages and am currently 7.5 months pregnant with a baby boy.


  9. samcy on

    Honestly Dee? That chick is cooked.

    The God I serve does not *do* pacts. He is all encompassing, compassionate and I know it’s hard to belive right now but He HAS heard your prayers and He will honor His promise to you to be a fruitful vine.
    I don’t know when, I don’t know how etc but what I DO know is that He loves you and hears you. With no strings attached.


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