Guilt…

I hate feeling guilty. It seems that in this journey guilt often creeps in. Last night we went out with a whole bunch of friends for dinner. I knew I would get the “why are you not drinking” so I decided last minute to have a very light beer of 2.4% alcohol. Everyone else seemed to be downing the glasses of wine and I seemed to get away with it without too many questions. The problem is I felt SO incredibly guilty when i got home. I felt like I had jeapordised something by drinking 1 drink. So incredibly silly, I know but this feeling of guilt that I need to be more serious about this is really getting to me. Problem is that I AM serious about this, cant actually get any more serious but I also do realise that once the initial injections are over and we start facing ER, its when emotions start to run a little higher and I dorealise that Im probably just being totally pathetic. I always get a bit panicky as trigger gets closer. “What if’s” crop up all the time and my mind starts spinning.  Oh and the EWCM has gone which also conjuers up visions of nasty things. Why cant I just stay in that positive mind set and stop this jumping to conclusions all the time?

Advertisements

4 comments so far

  1. Elize on

    It is absolutely impossible to retain your perspective when doing treament. I’ve never done IVF and I know I will feel exactly the same way. Too much is at stake for you to be relaxed about the whole thing. Don’t beat your self up about the one drink. You will be fine. (((HUGS)))

  2. Shaz on

    Hey Dee
    Its the nature of the beast isn’t it?
    I remember during my first IVF I had a few sips of champers on Valentines day and landed up beating myself up when I got my BFN! There’s just so much at stake and the stakes are extremely high, I think its natural to feel that way.
    Hang in there!
    (((Hugs)))

  3. samcy on

    *sigh* my friend the IVF animal is a monster! it messes with our minds and makes us feel things we normally would not have felt. I’m sure that one light drink will not effect you in anyway, remember that your follies are growing well and are already nearly at maturity, so it’s really not going to make any difference at this stage of the game… but how I know the mind games we play with ourselves…

    Here is the officail leave of notice to give yourself a break and to stop feeling guilty – you’re doing marvellously!

    HUGS
    xxx

  4. April on

    just think of all of the women who smoke, drink, use drugs, etc while they are pregnant. you consumed a little bit of alcohol. it’s fine. 🙂 stop feeling guilty. you’re still allowed to go out with your friends and have some fun, you know?


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: