When it Rains it Pours

I always think that quote in the world of IF – you often get a wave of “baby” days, it happens every so often that for a day or two its filled with babies, people talking about babies, pregnant bellies etc etc. And then it seems to die down again. Ive had a few days like that now.


My manager came to see me the other day – she is on maternity leave. She bought her baby, which was fine BUT then decided to BREASTFEED IT IN MY OFFICE!!!!!!! I was so close to telling her to get the fuck out but decided to rather just concentrate on my computer screen. We were trying to have a meeting but all she was doing was saying “coochy coo” to the baby.


Next I went out to WW to buy food and there were a few preggie bellies around, then I watched “So you think you can Dance” and again the one dance instructor had a huge belly.


Then today I had to sit with a lady from our medical aid to try and work out how much we can claim back on our tax return. We ended up going through a lot of claims and invoices from Vitalab and there were quite a few for the 6th May – the day we lost our baby. The tears were so close and I think the lady saw that. I just burst out crying after I left her. So silly how it can just creep up on you like that. (The good news is that she said we must start putting all our Vitalab claims through the medical aid and so next year there will just be one amount we can use that was rejected by medical aid – should be a lot with 3 IVF’s in 1 financial year).


When I get back to my office – I hear a baby crying, someone has bought their baby AGAIN. Im quite in tune to crying babies perhaps its my maternal instinct kicking in, shame poor thing has to respond to other babies in the meantime.


Then after that my minister phoned me to tell me that there were some complications with the birth of his daughter (funnily enough he has a varicocele like my hubby and his wife has PCOS like me so the natural pregnancy was really a miracle). Apparently the baby had a problem with the development of her relux action and was swallowing amniotic fluid into her lungs. She was therefore born 2 months premature and in my minister’s words – the reason why these things happen are unknown to us at the time but without her being born early she would have died without the operation to fix the reflux problem. He has recommended a book to me: The Shack by William P Young, he said it may help with answering a few questions we may have. I’ll let you know how it goes.


4 comments so far

  1. April on

    I was just thinking that people with other diseases don’t feel this way. People with hypertension don’t get upset when they are around people with normal blood pressure. IF fucks with your body AND mind. The mind stuff is just so much more difficult to deal with, in my opinion.

    😦 My friend from taiwan has a saying: there’s really no such thing as bad luck or bad days. If you feel like you are having them, it is just b/c you are getting ready to have a good day or good luck. You’re on the upswing.

    ***big hugs***

  2. Beth on

    I just found your blog, and your words today are something I have been experiencing so often lately. I wanted you to know I was praying for you. I also read the Shack and found it uplifting and helpful, I hope it gives you some answers and direction. I will be anxious to know your thoughts!

  3. Shaz on

    It really does go like that, some days are easier to cope with than others. I’m hosting a baby shower for our MD and his wife this morning and today I’m just fine with it. But sometimes it just does get too much.

    Hang in there!

  4. Elize on

    I’d love to hear what you thought about Shack, I’ve never heard of the book but I love reading uplifting stuff. About the baby days, I handle it most times but just now and again when I’m feeling especially sensitive it gets me down. LOL @ April’s upswing comment, made my day!

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