Hope to see you guys on the other side…

My decision to stop blogging was based on trying to let go of the past. I sit and stare at my daughters and often think “but Im infertile”. How the hell did this all happen. Infertility was part of my life for so freaking long. I lived and breathed it every day. Every.single.day for 4.5 years I thought about it, read about it, researched it, dealt with it and now its gone. Its like having a splinter in your finger and every day you look at it and wonder how the hell can you get it out. It hurts like hell but starts to become familiar, its your normal. Then one day you look down and its gone. You have immense relief yet you cant believe its gone. How did it happen without you even realising? So in saying this I felt that I need to start cutting ties with my previous life, so I can try and get on with my current one – this blog included. I cant keep living in such disbelief. We had professional newborn photos taken and I look at this person sitting there and still I cant believe its me holding 3 babies.

To be honest I miss blogging, I miss you guys but I dont know how to get this to work. Maybe start a new blog? But then I wonder if Ill get time to blog.

I know Im suffering from PND, I knew it would come as I was warned about it, especially when you have multiples. But as with infertility induced depression you just have to deal with it as best as you can. At least this time round I have 3 beautiful daughters that remind me just how far Ive come.

Ill let you know if I start a new blog, I think Ill have to because I cant blog here any longer its too painful and I dont want to be reminded of IF. Please tell me Im not the only one who feels this way? If you have been pregnant/adopted after IF, do you feel such a disconnect with your current life?